I have been in prison since I was 21 years old, I am now 33.
I want to say a few words and share with others what the Lord Jesus has done for me.
His Love is alive and overflowing in me. And it needs to be given to others.
I hope that by God's Grace, someone reading this who feels lost, confused, alone,
shameful, or empty- the Love of Christ will comfort and encourage.
The help I want, is to help others. The loneliness I feel, is in not being able to connect
His Love in me, to others needs- to soothe, comfort and lift them up.
But by God's moving, I have this outlet, to share His love from me, to others, to Him
being magnified.
Every breath I take, every heart beat within me, testifies to the Glory of God.
God has always, always, been in control of all. I Joy in His Amazing Grace, and Mercy! Its
His Love for me, in me, and in us, that is perfect. And in time, in stages, increments, if
we trust Him, He will perfect us- of His Perfection, to His Glory.
No ceremony, feast day, or deed of ours, can make us perfect. Our Lord said on the Cross
of God's mercy shed abroad for us, "It is Finished".
So It Is Finished!
What is with all the rituals, and religious ceremonies, which strive to attain to God's
mercy and righteousness? Religion that condemns others and heaps Pharisitical burdens on
us that we cannot carry.
It is Finished!
True religion, is to Love. Which means a commitment to care for each other. not because of
this color or that color, or this or that, but because they need comfort, help, and
encouragement.
The only ones that Jesus put down were the hardhearted, religious types, who used God's
written Word to condemn people, and lift themselves up in self-righteousness. Making God's
Love and Mercy seem far off and burdensome to attain to.
They did rituals and ceremonies and used God's Word in head knowledge not
"Heart" knowledge. Not at all obeying God's Word
like in places like Isaiah 58.
Ah, well, you didn't want to hear all this probably. You want a testimony. I will by God's
Grace give you one, to help some brother or sister out there, I hope to the Glory of God.
My name is not important; God is, and His Loving Grace, Majesty, and Mercy is!
I am a death row inmate, convicted in 1988 of beating a man to death.
All my life I needed to have something fill my heart, but nothing ever would. I looked
everywhere. I tried nearly everything. But nothing was ever enough to get into my heart,
to give it contentment.
When I was alone, and nobody was looking, I would cry. Not at all knowing why. I could
only think "What's life all about?, Why are we here?, Why can't I be
happy?".
I was restless, my heart just couldn't be still, it had need, and so I had to keep moving.
My heart was telling me to Love, be loved, be kind, do good to people, but my mind was
telling me, by all I was taught, all I saw and heard, be tough, get money, have pride,
"be somebody".
Get, grab, eat.... it was a war. And I could not be still, so I lived fast, 100 mph all
the time. I was self-destructive, and something wanted me to die, yet something was kept
me alive, would not let me die. It got to be where I felt, I couldn't die. And all I felt
was misery. Couldn't die...couldn't live!
Something was wrong with me, but I didn't know what. So I went to a psychicrist, and
enrolled in a class he taught. I left disappointed.
So I went to church, and listened to preachers talk about God, but not understanding. They
seemed to be acting. I acted all my life, and lived with pride all my life, and I
could see it all over these people, but I tried to see where they were coming from. I
tried to read the Bible, but I couldn't understand.
I belived God was real, always had, but just didn't know about Him.
When I was sentenced to death, I plead and cried to a God, I did not know. I started to
read the Bible, but I was still a mess.
I hated everyone, and saw myself as better than the other prisoners, "I was
different". I had some honor, pride. I blamed
everyone else, more and more. I got more angry. I kept questioning God- Why, Why, Why....?
I started praying in dire tears to God. I'd put a towel to my mouth and cry to God, and on
my knees and curled up on my side, crying like a baby.
I went from weighting 200 pounds to near nothing.. Skin and bones. Everyone thought I had
Aids. And I let them think it. I didn't care anymore. I was praying all the time now, and
reading the Bible.
I'd tell God, "Just let me die", 'Just let me die". "You win, I am a
sick, terrible, wicked sinner, who has transgressed all Your laws." I couldn't sleep.
I was in the terrors of hell.
Then God brought me out of it. He was showing where I would go if I died then. No way did
I want to go to that place.
Then one afternoon, while prayerfully, tearfully, reading The Bible, I fell asleep for
just a few minutes, and was awakened by this awesome Bright Light. Just a bright flash. it
was blinding And as I was waking from it, a Voice, so calm, but strong, sure, said,
"It will be alright".
That was it, it was real! I have never hallucinated in my life, never. I knew withotu a
doubt it was God, Jesus, The Light, Glory of God. But I had no idea what He meant "It
will be alright".
Nor why he would come to a no good sinner like me.
I continued to read, pray and cry. Then a week or som I dosed off
to sleep one afternoon, and was awaken by a Voice in my ear that
said, "Hebrews 12:11".
I looked around, who said that...in a one man cell.
A couple of days later, the same thing happened. I dosed off in the afternoon and was
awakened by a Voice, but it was as if two or more were trying to figure out the best
scripture to give me, and finally said, "Romans 8:13".
I knew they were Angels giving me these two scriptures. I knew
Jesus was telling me something. But it took a couple of years to come to understand.
I began to openly talk about Jesus. And the things of the Bible just started to flood into
my heart, mind and out of my mouth.
The Angels had touched my tougue, and I no longer felt anger, or hatred. The way I
felt, thought, and looked at things changed. I only wanted to reach people, and help them
see God Loves us, and wants to save us.
I am isolated with 13 other guys on death row, in one man cells. Everyone saw the great
change God did in my life, even the guards.
God is God, and not far away. He is the reason, meaning, moving,
in, above, and behind all things. there is no such thing as coincidence. We are not our
own God. We are here to come to the end of ourselves, all the futilities of our ways, to
become hopeless, so we will look above ourselves, above this world, to seek
God, in a broken spirit, and contrite heart.
The lessons are for everyone.
We cannot save ourselves, and cannot fill ourselves. When we come to realize this and tire
of ourselves, to die to self, in total hopelessness, to seek God, in Truth, from total
desire of the heart, then He comes to rebirth us, give us filling, hope and Joy.
God brough me to death row, to break me and save me. God is the
power, in total control. So He can redeem us.
Love is not a emmotion, sensation, its a commitment to care!
So we learn the selfless Love that He has. And Showed us on the Cross, an example for us
to follow. We are the Lights of God's Love to others.
God came down from His Majesty, in the flesh, to serve, feed, comfort, and die for us.
When we do this, people will start seeing, believing, and Glorifying God. We will get out
of our depressions, and anguishes, because we will stop focusing on us. Oh poor me, and
start focusing on Christ!
This is the awesome wonder of God that transcends understanding and logic of the world.
Trust God's providence, for your daily needs, and focus on heaven to come. When
Jesus comes for us, when our time is done, to bring us home to the Angels we're meant to
be, by God's Grace, "Free, Free at last'!
Don't murmur, or grumble, but thank God for all things, always, and
do always in Christ's Love. And you'll have Christ's Joy Always!
My Prayer is:
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom come Thy Will be done in
earth as it is in Heaven. That people start doing Your Will, to Glorify You. We are the
glove, You are the hand, fill us, use us, completely, to tend Your Sheep, and do Your
gardening of Your garden, to feed Your beautiful Flowers,
and Sheep. To pull the weeds and thornes off them, and find the lost who are stuck in the
mud. So all will come to Joyfully, in Comfort, Praise Thee. Amen
By God's Grace, In Christ Love, Loyal, Faithful Love
We're all accountable to God, for the hearts He entrusts to us
to hold.
This is the law of God- Love in Christ, or self-condemnation.
Lawrence
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Hello Angels Share.
I hope that you all are being
blest of God, so that you can be a blessing
to others.
I am writing again from death row in prison.
I woke up this morning and just laid in bed thinking
"I don't want to get up, I'm still in this cell."
That's- self, satan, trying to steal my Joy in Christ!
The wonder of God's awesome Love! How God wants us to Love,
be alive, moving; and how the flesh (self,satan) wants
us to be dark, miserable, to focus on the flesh and not
on The Holy Spirit!
Give Light, Life, Joy, Peace to others. This is what our
religion in Christ is to be. Overflowing to others.
We receive the Joy of Jesus and It will never leave us.
(John 15:11), unless we leave it! By listening to self(satan).
God wants us to break apart our hearts, of His Love, and
to pour out, give drink to others. Not keep it to ourselves.
Jesus is in the cups of our hearts. Our hearts were not
created to have lids on them, but rather to be openfaced
cups, of which He pours into, until overflowing, for others
to drink of.
If we feel depressed, miserable, anxious, joyless, its
because we have put lids on our hearts, to be selfish. We are
not freely overflowing to others, completely, in self abandonment. We are not praising God
in Joyful thanks,
in song and dance.
When I start feeling down, and can't reach anyone, to pour
out this awesome Love of God in me, I lift my hands and
heart and pour it back to God, My Lord Jesus, in songs.
I wakeup, in thanks and dance around the cell praising
Him! And He gives me Joy overflowing! Washing myself away.
That's how David did!
God truly is with us and wants us to have Joy! Flow in the
Waters of His Spirit- to others! Reflect the Light of God's
Love, to their hearts being lightened.
It's all God, not us!
If I, by and in God's Grace, can have Joy, surely, All out there in Christ can have Joy!
I hope, by God's Grace, you will come to joy in heart
boundlessly! Amen!
In Christ's Love, to honor, in hope, and all goodness,
of His Blessings upon you, that you will be a blessing
of Him to others' Joy!
Your Friend
Lawrence
Please pray for:
Ken Laeffel - to be healed
Nita - to be softened
Mark and Tammy - to be saved
Dawn - to know her path in Christ
and Kim - to come to acknowledge Jesus, and be saved
amd my appeal case in God's mercy
You are all in my prayers too!
Lawrence Lewis Jr. # 639093
P1204 S A-1
Union Correctional Institution
PO Box 221
Raiford, Florida 32083
USA
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